Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
