Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
