Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
