I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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