there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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