She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize