Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
