this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize