Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
