Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize