Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
