HIV tests are more positive than that guy
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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