just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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