i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
