Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
