he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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