enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
