He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
