yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
