im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
