i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize