Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I love you.
Bad choice
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