ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
