I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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