I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
