It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
