Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
