Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
