I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
