Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize