This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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