I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
