She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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