also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
