wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
