Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
love makes seman taste better
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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