Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
