every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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