dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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