I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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