My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Randomize
