it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
