i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
