I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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