went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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