Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
