i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
