if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
