There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
