I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
