i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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