I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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