you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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