youre lurking in front of me
farters have to be the big spoon...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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