it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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