Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
