That's intense
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
